If there was a bucket of things…. Part I

Those of you know who me well are all too familiar with my favorite intro into most conversations/profound statements: if there was a bucket of things. This first segment pertains to the one thing I dislike more than anything in the entire realm of human existence: walk-smoking. If there was a bucket of things I really don’t like, people who walk down the street while smoking would be in that bucket. I wonder if these people realize the negative effect they’re having on everyone walking behind them. Having a nose with a bird hunting dog-like sense of smell, I get to experience their repulsive habit for blocks and blocks behind them. Luckily, most smokers are inherently slow walkers. Being a daughter of a profoundly efficient speed shopper, I learned at an early age how to cover a significant amount of ground, or Nordstrom’s department, speed walking. Not like weird, side to side, hip gyrating speed walking we learned in gym class, but still pretty GD speedy. Thanks Mom for providing me with the proper skill set to effectively move past these walk-smokers. Anyway, if you are one of these walk-smokers, just know you’re not only killing yourself, you’re also killing others. I believe expressing that very sentiment to someone at Wandos in college before the smoking ban was passed almost resulted in a shiny black eye. Luckily my friends only let him spill a drink on me because a) I did throw his cigarette on the ground and b) they were twice his size (thanks Joe and Mark).