Put On Your Sunday Best, We're Going to Tumblr

Hey team! Staying true to what I suggest to clients, I'm moving the ol' blog over to Tumblr.

http://annasevans.tumblr.com/

What is Tumblr you ask? Well, it's a bit of a hybrid between Twitter and Blogger/Wordpress and the like. It's a better platform for sharing little tid bits of info (links, images, tweets) but still allows for longer entries. If any of you work in marketing/communications, I strongly recommend checking it out and maybe setting up a profile for yourself. Even John Mayer made the move from Twitter to Tumblr. And if we know anything, it's that John Mayer is a trend-setter. Wait...

Oh and sis decided to jump on board as well >> http://danzkat13.tumblr.com/

In Case You Don't Know How...

...this video will Teach You How to Bucky just in time for Game Day in Madison next weekend >> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oVAZXZfIlNk

Don't Disrespect the Goog

In the past 24 hours, I've come across two mind-numbing singles from two of the most unbelievable Real Housewives cast members.  Last year, brain cells fried from coast to coast when Kim Zolciak of the Atlanta cast burst onto the music scene with Tardy for the Party.  We all watched as she struggled through the track on the RHWOA reunion show and prayed that would be the last bit of "music" we would hear out of her wig-clad head.  Alas, a  mere 12 hours after my ears were infected with Danielle Staub's Cry (the craziest RHWONJ cast member in case you're not as well-versed in the series as Michelle or I are), Kim managed to out-pathetic her with this little diddy, Google Me. Do they know about this in Silicon Valley? I realize Googlers have more important, world-changing matters to tend to, like perfecting the "undo" feature on Gmail, but still. I hope Google's cutthroat legal team doesn't take this slander lightly and bans her from uttering another verse of her newest single.  In protest I'm sticking to Bing for the rest of the week...at least until she releases a sequel to Google Me, Bing It.

Adorable Bunnies in Paper Cups

Sure I realize the video link below is simply that: two little bunnies in paper cups. But how adorable are they with their little nose wiggles? It made me giggle and was a nice lil mid-day cuteness break.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/expresident/rabbits-in-paper-cups

Emergency Landing? Lady Gaga to the Rescue!

http://jezebel.com/5653148/airlines-safety-demonstration-involves-lady-gaga-and-choreographed-dancing

What's next? Kanye's All Falls Down on United?

Wall Street: Money Naps Occasionally

Money never sleeps, eh? Does Chase know about this? Well Dave and I saw the second installment of Wall Street this past weekend and even though several times I found myself completely confused about what was going on, I still really enjoyed the flick. Michael Douglas is relentlessly likable, even though we should know better after seeing the original WS (which is currently available on-demand). Every woman want's to believe the dashing man in the suit can change his evil ways (enter Blair Waldorf). Both Dave and I felt as though his daughter’s hotness should have been escalated as she wasn’t very believable as Shia LeBeouf’s romantic interest (total 2 point rule violation). 

Next up is the Social Network so I can actually know what’s going on and Dave can sit there in a cloud of confusion. “Like” whaaa??

P90X = More Quotable Quips Than Road Trip

So Dave and his buddies all started P90X on Monday and I've decided to tag along for part of the ride. I jumped in (pun intended) for last night's plyo's workout which P90X creator Tony Horton dubbed, "“The mother of all P90X workouts." Luckily, explosive, fast-twitch muscle drills were kind of my thing in college.  Unluckily, this also lead to man-calves, 2 stress fractures, and 3 surgeries. Anyway, we start the 60 minute plyo workout and within the first 5 minutes I'm completely distracted by this guy's 90's workout instructor quips. Of note:

• “Hamburger bad, fries bad, coca-cola bad….There I said it. Drink your water people“.
• “Don’t go grab a pastrami sandwich”
• “If you’re doing Plyometrics you can jump higher and run faster and your heart and lungs are going to kick the panties off of anybody else that tries to get out there without it.”
• “Get sexy with it.”

Needless to say, I'm pretty psyched for tonight's installment, and not necessarily for the arms/shoulders workout, but mostly to have more material for a new post.

Salt Communications Presents: Mad Men Happy Hour

Especially necessary given the week we've all had to endure (not to mention a stubborn to-do list that just won't get any shorter).

Cheers and happy Friday!

When Did It Become Fall?

Remember the SATC episode where Charlotte asks, "When did it become Fall" and Carrie removes a perfectly folded blanket from her dresser, curls up in it and you can actually feel how calm and comforted she is though the TV? Well, when DID it actually become Fall.

When did I begin sipping pumpkin spice lattes and fall (ha pun) into my Winter work wardrobe consisting of solely leggings (or jegging) with boots, a tunic, an oversized sweater and neck-engulfing scarf?
When did shopbop post their Fall 2010 Trend Report?
When did Katie and I begin discussing which Halloween masterpiece to execute this year?
When did JT$ begin loving fashion again?
When did a standard Saturday ritual change from making hair appointments for weddings to spending the morning trying to find my issued UW arm band?
When did it become ok again to not be productive on a Sunday and sit on the couch all day watching football?
Most importantly, when did my wardrobe all of the sudden become (gasp!) outdated?!?

M-Burger Soft Opening

• M-Burger is opening across the street from my office.
• They're giving away free food today and tomorrow.
• My coworkers went and brought back extras.
• All of the sudden, a milkshake and fries appeared on my desk.
• I hesitated, thought about downing the beautiful symphony of deliciousness in front of me.
• Maggie knows I'm going to Vegas next week and am strictly on LC's for lunch in preparation.
• Maggie swoops in, removes said deliciousness and throws them away.
• I'm devastated.
• Saint Maggie.

Bobcat Protection

"Hey Dale, what do we do if we encounter a bobcat up north?"

(Dad scurries into basement, emerges with 5 firearms)

"Well, this new one's for African plains game..."

Who knew we signed up for an actual impromptu gun show?

Big Gulp 911

Deputy Trudy Wiegel: You seem a little jittery right now, Terry. Are you trying to tell me you're not on any substances? 
Terry: I had skittles. 
Deputy Trudy Wiegel: You're jittery from skittles? 
Terry: Yes. 
Deputy Trudy Wiegel: [looking at Terry's eyes] Interesting. You're eyes are real dialated and they seem sort of joggin' around a little bit. 
Terry: Well have you ever had skittles? It's all sugar. 

Manny Waters Weekend Predictions

• Tara will find the white deer in the woods on his death bed during a 6am run that no one wants to go on.  She then will revive him, in dramatic fashion, and Disney will make a movie about their new found friendship (after the 2nd 830 am walk/run that everyone will finally join her on).
• Drew will somehow cross the line while playing the questions game with Mr. Clack (something about plastic parts); Dave will interrupt the awkward silence that will ensue with a comment about an article he read on foxnews.com, but will have a difficult time providing details about the article because he's hopped up on too much sugar from t-bone's cookies and cherry coke.
• Danny and JA will perform cheer stunts in the lake.  Danny will 'accidentally' drop her head first into the shallow water, then will giggle and splash water on her bleeding head (3rd grade's fun!)
• JT will make out with a lonely mountain man at the Pea Patch; he'll have her at "Where'd you get that there plaid?"
• That same faithful night at the Pea Patch, Katie will dance with a pool cue to a Miley Cyrus song I play on the jukebox and break her ankle when she forgets the pole isn't attached the the ceiling. We all spend the wee hours of Friday night at the local hospital. Bed pans are fun.

If there was a bucket...

In this segment of, "If there was a bucket," we're exploring the phenomenon of the kitten heel.  In my world, I'm either in flats or teetering around on 5 inch platforms. There is zero room in my closet for any footwear lacking an identity (Am I a heel? Am I not?). I'm turning the mic over to my brilliant hometown cohort, Emily (aka Emilson) Meudt, who brought this frivolous excuse for footwear to my attention the other day:


"Can you explain to me the purpose of "heeled" slides as well as kitten heels?? Or at least point me in the direction of good looking ones? I kinda want to vomit when I see them. In no way shape or form does a kitten heel make a woman's calf look good. Or her butt, which let's face it, is half the point of wearing heels. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings and you own a pair, but please say it's only one pair. Also, I didn't want to hurt other kitten heeled slide wearers out there. That is all." -Emilson

I too am sorry if you're a kitten heel wearer, but go glam or go home.

Tipping Point: American Fashion

My lease is up in September so instead of moving all my stuff in one giant/stressful move I've started to slowly relocate my belongings into Dave's condo, bit by bit. I started with the wine rack and glasses, followed by some winter coats and boots.  Although I'm trying to make this process as painless for him as possible, I knew the day would come when he would stop and say, "Wait...THAT'S coming in here?"  Last night the tipping point was my American Fashion coffee table book.  I began to bring a few decorative pieces into the condo: some candles, books, white spined magazines, etc., all of which he was fine with (or just hasn't noticed yet), but there must be something overtly feminine about this particular book that frightens him. We were sitting on the couch watching SVU (standard) when he looked over to the wine rack and saw "American Fashion" in big black letters along the spine of my favorite coffee table took and replied with, "Woah woah woah...American Fashion??? Where did THAT come from???" I believe he thinks all of my girly belongings will be confined to the second bedroom where he doesn't have to see any of it on a daily basis.  Hmmm, maybe I'll bring my framed Chanel MET print over tomorrow; perfect for the foyer!

Justin Timberlake in Egypt

Always entertaining and too brilliant for his own good, my pseudo brother Hunter recently embarked on a two year adventure in Egypt for graduate school.  I highly recommend following his hysterical yet insightful blog >> http://bradleyhmoore.blogspot.com/
Even though it's only been one week, thus far we've learned that his name "Hunter" is also slang for one's man-ness and Egyptians have a great deal of respect for women. And by "a great deal" I mean zero.

ps. Katie and I refer to him at Justin because there's a slight resemblance. Sorry if you were anticipating some sort of juicy celebrity gossip post :-)

Idiots

Pretty amazing video...
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/8063d74c6c/idiots-with-zoe-saldana-kate-bosworth

Something You'd Write to YM About

Remember those embarrassing stories you used to read in mags like YM and Seventeen when you were in middle school? "Oh I totally farted in front of my crush....I was mortified....I can never show my face in English again..." Well I need a new word for mortified. Dave's Dad, Dr. Bartz, was kind enough to take us out for a round of golf last Sunday at his country club in the 'burbs. Sunday was also the day after Blackout 17 and needless to say Dave and I were struggling a little bit.  But we started off the round feeling refreshed by the fresh air and we ready to get our golf on.
My first and second shots began to veer right for some reason, which was a problem I thought I had corrected 2 years ago. Hole #12 comes along and I shank my drive so I have a long second shot. Naturally I pull out my trusty 3 wood and get ready to take a shot. Well, we were playing ready golf and Dr. B was up ahead to the right looking for his ball...I think you know where this is going.
So I take my swing and hit a line drive slightly to the right and directly at Dr. B's cart.  I was so in shock by what was about to go down that I couldn't even muster up a "FORE." SMACK! My ball strikes Dr. B right in the quad.  For about 3 seconds, it felt as if time stood still.  I dropped my club looked at Dave and didn't know whether to laugh, cry, or scream for help.  Dr. B immediately took off for the halfway house to get some ice, but at the time it seemed as if he was sooo mad, he was just going to be finished for the day. When all was said and done, we had a drink afterwards and somehow got an invite back to play. Maybe next time I'll leave the deadly 2 wood in my bag...

Hives in the City

Ok kids, I'm back!

After nearly a month of nothing, I finally have the time to give a little update on what's new and exciting.  Here's a little 27th bday re-cap of Dave and my first trip to NYC together...which I have a feeling won't happen again for a long, loooonnng time. This trip also represented the beginning of the hive epidemic, which plagued my existence for about 3 weeks.

Although this trip was a much different experience than when I used to visit Katie in the city, she managed to still add a bit of Katie-ness by having a fabulous bottle of champagne sent to our room upon arrival to the Empire (yes that’s chez Chuck Bass on GG).  On Friday DB and I walked across Central Park, meandered around the MET, and played around 5th Ave for a little bit.   For my bday, Dave bought me these amazing gunmetal metallic Capri-style sandals which were custom made on the spot at Bendel's.  I've worn them essentially every day since the trip, to the point to where I think I need to have rubber put on the bottom.  Amazing shoes from an amazing BF! (I recently changed Dave's homepage to this blog, a change he has no idea how to undo, so every time he boots up IE my blog appears...ha). Friday night, we had one of our top 3 favorite dinners ever so far as a couple at Stanton Social and it was definitely worth the hype. I even topped off the dinner with 2 of my own red velvet twinkies...bliss.

Saturday night, Dave and I ventured out too Brooklyn with his good friend Nick and his wonderful GF Alex to frolic amongst hipsters in their natural habitat.  After dinner at Brooklyn’s finest backstreet pizza joint (even though I’m not a big za fan, it was still fairly decent) we meandered around the neighborhood in search a  pre-train back to the city beverage. A $15 cover, a strange abandoned conversion van,some anti-establishment art/graffiti, and some sore feet later (didn’t get the memo about wearing flats instead of my 5.5” Gucci platform birthday sandals on the trek to BK), we ended up in someone’s garage with a tiki bar, stripper pole, and karaoke machine.  Not really my ideal place to ring in my 27th year of life. 1 drink turns in to 2 drinks, which turns into shots, which turns into me stopping drinking so I didn’t blackout in some random warehouse in BK. We find the train to get back into the city and all I want to do is sit outside somewhere at a table and have some celebratory bday drinks  (it was a perfect temperature outside).  We ended up at a basement bar which, consequently, completely destroys and dinner buzz I still had and I waved goodbye to my birthday night out. No shots, no cake, no bday song, no bday drink…nothing.  Was it my worst birthday ever? Probably wasn’t as bad as my 16th when I was accidently stood up (long story). Either way, looking forward to officially becoming gross next year (28 is my scary age).

R-O-C-K on the CTA

So I rode the CTA bus today for the first time...ever.  It's not like I never wanted to take the bus, the situation  just never presented itself.  #1 lesson learned in my first bus experience: the rush hour crowd vastly differs from the off-peak mutants riders.
Saltines Kristin and Maggie rode up to Lincoln and Webster with me to make an appearance at a client event. En route up to Lincoln Park around 5pm, the bus was filled with savvy attired commuters. On the ride home, however, I stood amongst a different crowd, highlighted by an older gentleman who not only wreaked of booze but was also speaking to himself in some sort of alien-esque dialect. I'm going to have to force myself to take the bus every once and awhile when I migrate to the West Loop in Fall and to be honest, I'm a little concerned.  Translation: I'm going to need a vat of hand-sanitizer...

Summer TTDs

WTF am I supposed to watch now that Spring TV has concluded?  Thus far, Dave and I have survived on SVU re-runs but I feel like we're bound to run out of episodes we haven't seen at some point.  Isn't there anything new on TBS or TNT this summer Katie? Are there any new Rock of Jersey-esque shows premiering soon or any other new TTDs (Television Transmitted Diseases) I can catch?  Or is Dave going to have to settle for losing at Scrabble night after night?  He started making me add up my own score...

Salty Badger

Love for our my Badgers made its way into my new work bio pic.  We just launched a new website for Salt and although it's currently all under one URL (http://www.saltcomm.com/), you can see my game day bio pic if you click on "Molecule" then my name under Chicago.
If you care to see any of my Online Marketing work, click on the "How We Did It" (giggle) link on the left nav and find the interactive tab along the bottom.
Happy Friday kids!

Walk-Commute Lane Cutters

Yes I know, I'm completely slacking on my bloggess duties.  This whole work thing is really getting in the way of my social media interactions.
Anyway, I don't know about you, but the next person who cuts me off while I'm in the middle of my work commute walk better watch out.  If you're a walk-commuter or simply someone who just enjoys a brisk walking pace, you know what I'm talking about.  You hop in the elevator, effortlessly toss on your sunglasses, throw in your ear buds, secure your gym bag under one arm and regular handbag/miscellaneous food item bag under the other and BAM! you're out your front door.  Soon you're in the middle of what most would consider a flat-footed run, just cruising along in the express lane down the sidewalk en route to work.  When all of the sudden, you're stopped dead in your tracks by someone leaving a Starbucks sipping their coffee/stopping outside their apartment door to talk a breath of fresh morning air/simply someone who walks at a glacial pace.  They cut right into your walk-commute express lane without even realizing it.  Your rhythmic walk-commute is completely discombobulated!  Now you're bobbing and weaving trying to get in front of the guy who's walk-smoking but you're blocked by the lane cutter.  WTF do you do?  I generally kick it into turbo-walk and go for the in-street pass and some sort of eye roll.  Do these people who walk out of their buildings not stop and look both ways before entering the sidewalk express lane? Shouldn't the same rules and etiquette apply to walking lanes as they do on highways?  Don't even get me started on those bikers-commuters...

Blissful BC

In case you were wondering what the best Berry Chill topping combo is (don't act like you weren't, it's sunny and 70 in Chicago, perfect BC run weather!):

• M&M's
• Yogurt Chips
• Peanut Butter Pretzels
• Saltines Ashely/Vanessa/Kristin/Maggie

Beautiful F'ing Day!

Katie sent me the new SNL Digital Short this morning and let me tell you, it's pretty spasstacular:

http://www.hulu.com/watch/149646/saturday-night-live-digital-short-great-day

Put the Mimosa's Down!

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/b55d0d7de3/bitch-hunter-mother-s-day-episode?rel=auto_related&rel_pos=2

Hot to Mop

Well, Katie's 30th Bday soiree was this past weekend and although I can't remember the entire night, here are a few key takeaways:

• Nuss likes to mop...a lot.
• A ponytail at Blo Dri can set you back $55
• Jess sucks at making a decision
• 4 ladies can down a giant bag of Pirates Booty in under 2 minutes 
• Why do people wait in line for the Hangee Uppe when there's a perfectly suitable bar right next store
• I'm able to make a perfect double batch of whole grain mac 'n cheese no matter how grey'd out I am
• If you're going to plan a party at a Lettuce Entertain You property, get a rewards card before hand.  Yes I realize it's $25, but the $80 I've already gotten back in $$$ to use at other LEY properties more than makes up for it.
• Sangria + open bar = ouch
• Jenny A will risk her life to teach salsa
• Jen T and I could win any same-sex salsa contest

Local Wedding Inspires Two Men to Dress Up as Cows, Lovers

In case you haven't seen this yet (if you live in MSP you can see this on the CBS 6:00 news tonight), you should probably watch it before it hits the Today Show...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajuZin-jKKY

M Burger = M-azing

I finally caved and dealt with the intimidating line at M Burger today en route to a Dr.'s apt this afternoon and let me tell you: a) it's definitely worth the hype and b) the line moves much quicker than you'd think!  I engulfed my entire single M Burger, fries, and DC in the 10 minutes I had to spare before my apt in my Dr's waiting room, where about a half dozen sets of eyes shot judgemental glares at me with every dip of every fry I submerged into a side of mayo.  This heavenly establishment serves up tasty burgers (including their signature M Burger with 'special sauce' and bacon), fries, mike shakes, and a few salads, but let's face it, you're going there for a juicy, perfectly portioned burger, not a silly little salad.  I was mildly hungover off at today at work and this surprisingly inexpensive spot did the trick to off-set the twinge caused by two dirty martinis I had last night.  Highly recommended for those Saturday/Sunday morning when you're just slightly hurting. Chicagoans, get after it!

http://www.mburgerchicago.com/

There are probably 10 menu items total, but they’re all very inexpensive and M-azing.

Heard on GG...

Yes I watch Gossip Girl, even tivo it. And every so often these pointless hours of horrific TV are so worth it.  Tonight it was when the following phrase was uttered:

"Exactly you're Blair Waldorf. You're a fashion icon. Queen Bee. And probably the future President of the United States...or Chanel."

Burritos on a Plane!

My favorite column on cnn.com:

Kim Kardashian: 'I didn't cause plane stench'

http://www.cnn.com/2010/SHOWBIZ/04/30/kim.kardashian.burrito.plane.ppl/index.html?hpt=Sbin

Must Have Been the Squirrel Meat

Playing homage to my favorite early 90’s flick, Troop Beverly Hills, I felt compelled to purchase this luggage tag yesterday…I love not camping. "There are no outlets, and there are bugs and it rains there…"
Off to Sarasota for the rest of the week where we’re definitely not camping!

If there was a bucket of things: Part IV

If there was a bucket of things I don’t appreciate, the creepy Italian guy who’s in the kickboxing class after my Tabata interval class at Equinox would be in that bucket. Every Monday, I rush out of work to get to my Tabata class at the Equinox on Michigan by 5:30. Tabata is a method of interval training where you complete 8 20 second sets of 6 exercises with 10 seconds in between sets and 1 minute in between each interval. To put it in perspective for anyone who ever was given workouts by Peter Teagen, it looks something like this: 6(20’x8, 10’ rest). No CCP allowed in this class!  These ‘excersises’ range anywhere from jumping lunges on a bosu ball as fast as you can to burpees to essentially a one footed standing long jump onto a bosu (no idea how no one broke their ankles but I got some mad props from my instructor about how far I could standing LJ….duh. She said I was smiling and everyone else was pissed because it was so awkward. Score.). We go through lots of ‘Day at the Beach” type plyo drills (to all you tracksters out there who know how glorious plyo’s in the sand pit are) so I feel great after a half hour class of Tabata, followed by another rhalf hour or “above the belt” work (arms, abs). By the end of the hour, your whole body is just drained. Don’t get me wrong, the 300 cals you burn in the first half hour alone is completely work it and I love the class…up until about 6:29. The kickboxing class that follows my Tabata/Above the Belt class is full of a bunch of those annoying people who HAVE to be at the front of the class right next to the teacher. My Tabata class is tough so not many gym-goers attend, so naturally I’m at the front of the room closer to the middle. At the end of every class, I have at least a bosu ball, 2 sets of weights, an elastic cord, and a yoga mat to put away, it’s kind of a hectic 2 minutes after you just worked your bum off (hopefully literally at some point). In the middle of the ruckus, this creepster, Italian guy runs to the front of the room, right in the middle of my station and just stands there waiting for his kickboxing class to start. How do I know he’s Italian? Well he wears a Ferrari shirt every Monday and looks like Giles from DWTS. One of these days, I’m going to muster up the energy and stay for kickboxing just to be like, “dude get out of my spot.” That’ll show him. If the death stares and eye rolls I’ve already thrown his way when he does this EVERY MONDAY haven’t worked yet, maybe this will. Get in the bucket Ferrari!

Volcanic Ash Over Chicago?

So I’m going to Florida with Dave, Laura & Joe next week to escape a multitude of things (clients, taxes, law books, the funky smell seeping into my apartment from my neighbors) and for some reason we’re all acting like we forgot what the sun looks like. I felt something strange, yet familiar, yesterday when I stepped outside after work, but not sure it was warmth. Perhaps some of that volcanic ash traversed across the Atlantic and hovered above Chicago for 36 hours. If global warming will have a similar effect on Chicago-area weather, then sign me up. Maybe I’ll visit my local Hummer dealership on my lunch break. That whole warm thing is already gone, which makes me think it wasn’t the sun, and now it’s all cold and windy again. But alas, come Wednesday night, I’ll be submersed in 80 degree weather, numb by a 24 hour mimosa-educed buzz, and walking/stumbling along the Sarasota shoreline collecting shells like a 5 year old. Can’t wait!

New Orbit Flavor Alert: Lime Melon

Against my jaw's wishes, I chew through at least a half pack of Orbit gum per day.  Imagine my excitement when I left the 7-11 on State yesterday with a NEW FLAVOR! Lime Melon essentially tastes like every other fruity flavor, except it says NEW on it, which (if I've learned anything from Deb) makes it better.

SATC 2

It's completely cliche to admit, but I'm pretty psyched about SATC 2 coming out at the end of May.  Especially after seeing the newest trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MjWl-82Yau4

Aiden??
The Middle East??
Carrie's closet??
Camel Toe??

Gettin' Luck with Bucky...and Maybe Even Ditty Again?

Yes I'm an obsessive planner and everything, but this is a specific case where obsessive planning is completely necessary. If you live under a rock and don't know yet, Bucky's doing Vegas over Labor Day and basically if you love Bucky, you'll also be doing Vegas over Labor Day (TWSS).  If you're not in Vegas over Labor Day weekend, you'll promptly be placed on Bucky's shit list and let me tell you that's a not a list you want to be on.  It's like the antithesis of being on Schindler's list.  Yea real bad, like holocaust bad.  Anyway, JT$ and I already booked tickets since they keep getting more and more expensive because HELLO it's Labor Day weekend!  We found direct flights out of Midway on Southwest leaving our beloved Chicago around 3:30pm on 9/2 and returning on 9/5 around 5:15pm.  This allows for us to work a half day on that Thursday and still stay in Vegas long enough to crawl into Hard Rock Rehab on Sunday for long enough to only make questionable decisions as opposed to bad decisions. English Rugby players anyone?  Here are some highlights from the last Bucky Double-Down:

Jessica Simpson at Salt?

My boss Bob lovessss to play long, drawn out, April Fools-ish jokes on every new employee at Salt. It was only a matter of time before we collectively got him back. That day was April 1st, 2010. We all had to traverse over a plethora of lighting equipment, extension cords, and people we didn't know to climb the stairs up to the Salt offices in the morning. Apparently all the hubub was just for a Raymond James commercial and we wouldn’t be experiencing any fabulous celeb sightings. It didn't occur to us until about half way through the day that this could ultimately set the stage for the greatest prank Salt has ever seen. Our Art Director Tony decided we should take a picture of me outside in the middle of all the commercial lights and Photoshop a celeb’s head on my body. We ended up going with Jessica Simpson (B list) to make the whole scam more believable. Below is the end result which we then sent in an email to Bob with the following note:
“Hey Bob!
Salt logo in US Weekly?
When we all arrived at work this morning, we were greeted by giant lights and cords, etc. We were all a little confused because they’re filming in the Raymond James office on the 1st floor so guessed we assumed was something to do with RJ. Since it was 80 degrees and sunny today, a bunch of us went to Quartino’s for lunch and when we came back, there were some random people standing in front of the building taking pictures. It turns out Jessica Simpson is filming some sort of romantic comedy in Chicago and used the office on the first floor (soooo random) for a scene. See the pics attached (looks like Ms. Simpson’s packed on some poundage :-)). j/k She looked great!
Just though you’d all like to know and maybe the Salt logo will be in a tabloid next week?? -ae”
Genius. He apparently forwarded the email to a bunch of family and friends and was in complete shock when I had to break the news to him the following day. Score. Going down in the history books as the #2 April Fools Day prank of all time for me, 2nd of course to the 1998 prank involving my middle school guy friends, a Playboy mag, and our school VP.  But that's a story for another day...

Macgruber: the Ultimate Tool

For those of you who haven't seen any Macgruber sketches on SNL, sorry you're so lame.  But don't worry, help is on the way to bring you back to awesomeness.  For those of you who have a life on Saturday night and/or do not know how to work your DVR, you'll be able to experience the Macgruber phenomenon on the big screen (coming soon).  Apparently the group behind the original Macgyver show are not thrilled with a parody of their thrilling early 90's series turning into a feature film, but c'mon like Macgyver series DVDs are flying off the shelves. Flawless execution of Macgruber's mullet: check. Non-broadcast TV friendly trailer: check >> http://trailers.apple.com/trailers/universal/macgruber/

Don't Faint Laura, No More Fluid Bags!

I had an appointment with Dr, Nataranjan this morning at the Running Institute to inquire about how I can get up and running again. I took all winter off from running and after only 2 weeks of moderately getting back at it, I'm back at square one with my CCS (chronic compartment syndrome) symptoms. Since a 4th procedure isn't an option, I figured I should at least see a new sports med guy.  Poor Dr. N, he had no idea what he was dealing with when he stepped into his first appointment of the day. He said, "Dr. Ganter always sends me doosies," in reference to my primary who referred me to him. Thanks dude. He then put me through the same song and dance all the other sports med guys had me go through: walk to the end of the hall and back, rise up on your toes, your calves are really tight blah blah. Except this guy ran a few more PT-like tests and decided that I'm completely calf dominant and suffer from a Gastroc-Soleus Strain (technical term for tight calf muscles due to CCS).  Essentially, I use my calves like most people would use their glutes, hamis, quads. I put all the strain on my calves when I walk, run, do anything really.
Translation: back to more PT, but this time not only the crazy painful active release therapy (the technique with the dull blade that scraps across your skin to release muscle fibers), but also with a zero gravity treadmill (I've heard stories about these but have never seen one in person). Anyway, I'll try it out for a month and see how it goes. I have 1-hour sessions twice per week for the next 3 weeks (at 7:30am, yuck) so hopefully I'll be up and running like normal again in a month.
Just interesting...and beneficial to everyone reading this blog so you don't have to listen to me whine about my calf problems every day :-) I'm doing everything I can to avoid that 4th procedure and everything gross (fluid bags that gross out Laura) and horrible (ugly scars and bulging muscles that Katie makes fun of) that comes along with it.

Hibernation: Part II

I’m making a stand against hibernation today. It’s going to be lovely in Chicago the rest of the week (we're talking sunny and almost 70) and we have to absorb of every bit of vitamin D we can. This past weekend, Dave and I spent the whole 2nd half of Sunday in a Southport Grocery-brunch-educed-coma after a few brief trips to West Elm, Crate & Barrel, etc, and could only muster up the strength to order Beer Bistro take out and watch the whole first disc of Mad Men season III. Well guess what late fall/winter/early spring hibernation??? It’s on! I’m launching a full scale attack against your seductive powers of laziness. The pic below is of Dave in my favorite hat (swim cap?) with my favorite headphones (he stole them from 1999 high school track meet Anna), but the jist of the pic well-represents the full-fledged, balls to the wall revolt against hibernation. Now all we need is some ammo… (warmth?)

I Didn’t Know Dad Was in Advertising!

24 and Dana Walsh's Facial Expressions

There's entirely too much happening on 24 right now for me to handle. Chloe is all the sudden a pistol toting computer engineering genius and Milton Waddams is a probation officer. Right when I reached the point to where I was ready to take a Swingline to his cranium, leave it to good ol' Dana Walsh to clean up the mess with another murder. Thanks Dana, not only did you off this annoying character, but you're working for the terrorists? Kick. Ass. That was SUCH a fantastic moment during last night’s episode because now we can truly hate Dana properly. It's official: she's a bad girl and she's perched atop the jerkface list. And not just because she makes facial expressions which rival the awkwardness of “Orgasm Man” on SNL.

The Madness...It's Spreading

I have to say I'm not a huge fan of basketball.  There's too much shuffle jogging and far too many guys running around in gauchos.  But I am, however, a huge March Madness fan and get a littttttle bit too obsessed with checking scores and stats.  Every year I pick Wisco to make it to at least the Final 4 (because you never know with those Badgers), but this year I finally thoughtfully picked teams.  I didn't just pick the teams with sassy uniforms who weren't a state school.  I took the time to sit down and rummage through all the stats to create the greatest Anna Bracket of all time.  A half day into the madness, this strategy is not working out well (thanks Notre Dame & Florida). I think I'll stick to picking teams with cute mascots from now on...

Good Ol' Irish Flu

In honor of St. Patty's Day, here's some useful information from cnn.com (an oxymoron don't you think) >> http://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/03/17/alcohol.hangover.cures/index.html?hpt=C1

Slainte!

Yeah, That Makes Sense

Dave and I are headed to Denver this weekend to spend some time with Laura and Joe, ski a little, day drink grey-out in honor of St. Patty’s Day, and hopefully not inflict any physical violence on Joe. You know what I miss about Laura the most? Laura is the type of friend who when you say “ I feel like X happens because of Y and Z,” she responds with a “Yeah, that makes sense,” no matter how ridiculous the idea/thought. Katie responds to some of my insights like this but it’s just not the same as when Laurel and I lived together and she would hang on my pull-up bar while I sat in my desk chair in my room and talked about the world (I know, there’s a lot to take in from that last sentence). Have a great weekend everyone!

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/houseguest_just_going_to_lie_there

Geekfest Wrap-Up / Taramazing Race

 I’ve been seriously slacking on my bloggess duties, but here’s a little rundown of this past week:


Geekfest ’10:

I was able to escape the clutches of Geekfest ’10 for one night last week, when I took the train from Silicon Valley up to San Fran to meet my favorite dynamic duo Heidi and Micah for a fabulous sushi dinner in Sausalito. Heidi was a long-jumper/sprinter extraordinaire UW and tutored me through my first Art History class (which I got an AB in). I never approached art the same way again thanks to her :-). She’s now in law school (complete 180), or as I like to call it “Phase 2 of 3 of her diabolical plan to take over the world…Elle Woods style.” Which leads me to her now husband, Micah, works on developing super secret government projects (was the FBI on our tail last week?). Together, they’re no doubt formulating some plan to rule the entire Bay area, one wine tasting at a time. Anyway, the sushi we had was unreal and I cannot wait to go back to San Fran again sometime this summer (with Laura and JT$ to see JT’s sissy...yes it’s happening) as I find I always contemplate moving there after visiting.

Overall, the conference was a great learning experience and I found I knew much more than I thought I did, which was very comforting. I guess all this BS I’ve been spewing isn’t actually BS, who knew?

Tara’s Bday

I’m sorry Tara, but I’m going to say it to the entire blogosphere: Tara turned 30 this weekend! Yay! My lil big sis who used to chase frogs down the river in her suspenders and giant plastic glasses is now Dr. Clack: 30 year old. I’m so thankful that after all these years our families are still so close and supportive of one another. Both sets of parents even came out for the Taramazing Race on Saturday night, which was coordinated by Katie and complicated by Drew and myself (she was the real brains behind it all). The night started out at Salukis (our fave neighborhood spot) where about 40 of gathered for apps and some pre-race drinks. 5 or so teams were then formed and were given a set of directions for the evening’s 2 hour race around the city. Each team had a list of 30 of Tara’s favorite places/things around Chicago and a camera. The team who was able to make it to the most places on the list and take a picture as evidence won free drinks for the night. You also earned a point for every place you stopped at and took a shot, which my team thought would be our competitive advantage (also we were the only team who actually ran around the city...I was sore yesterday...). There was also a prize for Most Creative Picture; our team had both awards in our sights. My team, the “Reverse Cowgirls,” was comprised of JT$, Luke, Casey, Ben, and Shaker, who comprised the best dressed team in the race (no contest). The dudes all had on matching brown army surplus jumpsuits, JT & I had on spandex and various other pieces of flare. The scariest pic by far to get was in front of the scary Candyman church in Cabrini (T Clack loves the movie) and our team ended up winning Most Creative Pic, but it’s not really PG-rated, nor R-rated for that matter. So instead the pics below are from Cabrini. At the end of the 2 hours, everyone had to promptly meet at Maeve in LP for cupcakes, some za, and even more drinking. We all put in a good 8 hours of drinking that night…all for a great cause!

Love ya Tara!

Geekfest '10 Conference Update I

At the CEO of Microsoft's lecture and none of these search geeks wil sit next to me.  It's like they've seen these things called "girls" before, but are not really sure how to approach these obscure creatures.  There was one exception when some people from ask.com gave me some drink tickets to their event later tonight...not going to help your chances dude.

Hit It & Quit It

I was in a new client brainstorm today for this company who wants us to run a promotional effort for them. The idea of a full out blitz was discussed and, without going into too much detail, how we would support the brand before and after the promotion. To which I replied, “Yea, I mean, you can’t just hit it and quit it.” For those of you who know the entire Anna & Dave story, this is especially entertaining. 

Mister! Mister! Get Me Out Of Here!

I’m sharing a similar sentiment with the crazy lady who jumps on Happy Gilmore’s car when they’re touring the retirement community. The blistering winter climate is abusing me behind closed doors Ben Stiller-style and I just want to get out of here! Thankfully, next week I’m spending 4 days in Santa Clara (Silicon Valley). Unthankfully it’s for Geekfest ’10, or the SMX West SEO Conference. Don’t get me wrong, like any online marketer I do geek out a bit over new ways to improve my client’s keyword ranking in search engines (SEO = Search Engine Optimization to all my non-marketing friends), but the fact that I’m going to be immersed in SEO culture for 4 full days is a little too much to handle. I was perusing the information the conference sent me about seminars, keynote speakers, and networking events when I came upon the following party which looks like it was created by some sort of cyber stalker.  Bing is one of the event sponsors and is hosting an “after hours” networking event one night from 9-11pm entitled, “SMX After Dark.” A) all my spare time on this trip will be spent catching up on existing client work and B) SEO geeks + after dark = a scene from this horror movie Rachel made me watch when I was little called “Killer Nerd.”

McChange my McShake???

Don’t panic…it’s that time of the year already! When it’s starting to get warm enough not freezing enough that you begin to crave some sort of refreshing ice-cream treat which you can only justify indulging in because it only comes around for a few short weeks per year. Yes, I’m talking about Shamrock Shake time!!! I caved (it only took 3 days) and consumed my first vat of fat and lusciousness this afternoon during lunch. I always get upset with myself after I have one because a) a small is like 420 cals and b) I always down it in under 90 seconds which inadvertently results in a serious brain freeze and stomach ache. Ahh but it’s worth it. Just ask my mom who a few years back was so excited about Shamrock Shake season that she crashed her Audi TT convertible into the giant yellow pole in front of the McD’s drive-in. Oh but it was worth it, all $800 in damage. One thing I wasn’t super psyched about was that I was asked if I wanted whipped cream and a cherry on top. “For real?” was my response to the McD’s crew member. How dare you…does Ronald know about this?

If There Was a Bucket: Part III

If there was a bucket of things that annoyed me, microwaves with remaining time blinking would be in that bucket. Is it really so hard to push “clear” when you take out your mac n cheese, lean cuisine, or whatever you’re zapping prior to the initial time set? Microwaves are an imperative time-keeping device in most American kitchens. When you neglect to push clear and remaining time is just sitting there, blinking, mocking you, you’re losing some of the value of having a microwave in the first place. I’m going to go out on a limb here, and say that 25% of the value of a microwave is the clock function. Yea I said it. 25%. 74% of the remaining value is in the actual cooking function and 1% is based on entertainment value (i.e. blowing up a parakeet…nice work Mr. Alvarez).

You Can't Put Wine in Hobo Stew!

Dave’s friends rented a house-type-thing up in Shanty Creek, Michigan this weekend so 12 of us are shacking up there for the weekend. I’m pretty excited to “ski” or whatever gliding down a Midwest hill is called and spend time with the group, but the logistics of this whole weekend are going to be somewhat tricky. First off, this place is 5 or 6 hours away. That’s not a quick little weekend road trip, that’s the 2nd longest car ride I will have ever been on. It also translates to a full half day in the car with Dave, listening to him sing aloud to T-pain on the radio. I’m armed with a stack of old Red Eye crosswords for the trip up and back, but maybe I should swing by Brookstone for some noise-cancelling headphones or something. Very Michael and Dwight on the Office when they take the train up to Philly. The other things that scares me about this adventure up North are our accommodations. One never knows where you’ll end up when guys are left to their own devices. JT$, look forward to multiple Troop Beverly Hills quotes coming your way, most notably:

"There were no outlets. And there was dirt, and bugs, and... and it rains there. So anyway, we've found a place that's much more us, so if any of the other parents call you’ll tell them we’re at the Beverly Hills Hotel…thanks!”

And

“Get me another bottle of Evian!”
“Don’t you think you’ve had enough?!?”

Deep Thoughts, Olympics Edition I

• Could I have been atop a medal stand if I went to the luge park with my dad 3 years ago? 
• Do I not have a captivating enough back-story to be an Olympian? I wasn’t plucked from my family at age 3 to train at some sort of prison training facility nor renounced my citizenship to learn from the finest coaches in the world.
• Does your hair have to be obscure to live the Olympic dream?
• Why does Bob Costas look younger every 2 years?
• I’m all for over the top accessories, but the 2010 medals are bordering on Flavor Flav clock necklaces.
• WTF is Dick Button talking about and why does Bob Costas let him start and stop 20 different thoughts within each break for commentary?
• My nails are whittled away to nothing; thanks ski bums.

 

Trampiest of Stamps

I'm not even going to rant about this one because it just speaks for itself. I'm a pretty big Biggest Loser fan (I really miss ellipticaling with you for an hour at Cap Fitness every Tuesday Michelle :-)). And don’t get me wrong, I do actually watch it because it’s an inspiring show. However, has anyone else noticed how as the weeks have progressed, you can now see Ashely’s tramp stamp? How did it even get there in the first place? Were there a series of industrial strength clamps involved?

Vienna, FL?

I purposefully have not been watching the current season of the Bachelor on a regular basis. The entire franchise is just so GD frustrating. That being said, I have caught bits and pieces of the last three episodes and let me tell you, that Vienna chick is alllll sorts of crazy. She represents all that women hate about other women. Self-serving, obnoxious, would do anything to obtain a dude’s approval, pretty enough to feel a little threatened but not enough to where you’re like, “Ok fine she’s cuter than me and I accept that.” Is she really being herself Jake? You’ve known her for 3 weeks; do you really know what “being herself” actually consists of?

Also, you’d think her parents would, ya know, clean up a bit. I don’t know how these people live in the state of old people but apparently there aren’t any young people around to tidy up after all the old folks. Tim Gunn would have a field day with the taste level of these tacky McTackersons. Poor Austria: I wonder if they know their capital city’s name is being polluted in such a manner overseas? Erica, write them a letter.

Living Version of the Chaos Theory

Cameron (Anna): I'm dying.
Ferris (the World): You're not dying, you just can't think of anything good to do.

Too often lately, I’ve been experiencing a real life version of the piece of dialog above. Each week it seems I (Cameron) have some new mystery symptom/illness/syndrome. I’ve been told that I spend an inordinate amount of time at urgent care when I was a kid, not because I necessarily had a serious injury or illness, but just that I always had something obscure going on. I guess I only had a broken hand once and a few stitches here and there, but didn’t everyone break a bone or come up with some strange illness when they were little? The difference with me, however, is that I haven’t seem to grow out of this awkward “wtf is wrong with you” phase as of yet. Reflecting back on it all, I’ve decided that all my recent medical mysteries and mishaps can all stem from one thing: me trying to be my sister. It surely didn’t seem like it at the time, but I always wanted to be like Katie growing up. She was in dance, I was in dance. She started gymnastics, I wanted to start gymnastics. Katie didn’t want to wear jeans for an entire summer, see ya later denim. Then in high school, she decided to run track. Clearly I followed suit when I was in 7th grade and by the time I was a sophomore in high school, I quit all other sports to train at Acceleration year round. Now ever since I was little I was pretty jacked and Accel only made this situation worse. Little did we know that I was prone to a genetic-fueled disorder called Chronic Compartment Syndrome, made worse by excessive training, which would ultimately lead me down a path to 3 different calf surgeries, countless hours at physical therapy, and 3 completely fugly scars on each leg. Me having mono in college can also be traced back to Katie (Katie – Laura – etc – etc) as well as my stomach problems (Katie – going to UW – me going to UW – stressing out about school – drinking – acid reflux disease) and most recently my eye issue (Katie moved to Chicago – I moved to Chicago – windy city – job at Salt – Sun Valley (desert) – living downtown by Katie – walking to work). Did you know your eyes can be dry to the point to where they have to put plugs in your eye ducts to keep the tears on the eye surface? Yea me either, until yesterday. But what else is there left to go wrong? Maybe I haven’t invented it yet?
Heart you sis!

Packer Fan Announces He Will Return to Drinking for Another Season

Following his wife's off-season threat to leave him...
http://www.theonion.com/content/video/packers_fan_announces_he_will?utm_source=EMTF_Onion

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/packers_fan_announces_he_will?utm_source=EMTF_Onion

Observational Talking

The idea of observational talking first came to my attention a few years ago by a friend of mine (I’ll protect the innocent). We’d be riding in the car and this person was constantly reading miscellaneous signs along the road. "Big Phils Auto Repair." "Culvers." "Exit 5 miles." "Mendota Mental Health Center."  Literally it was like his/her eyes were talking. I understand we’re on a long car ride and we’re out of the standard topics of conversation, but can’t you just not talk? The Midwest is full of beautiful scenery: everything from bull barns to Chanel shops.  Why does the mute air have to be filled with some sort of useless noise? If you’re going to say the words “Big Phils Auto Repair,” at least be able to follow up with some sort of valuable/interesting piece of information/question. For example, “Ugh, I just had the worst experience at the Audi dealer, maybe I should try a local repair shop like that.” Or, “Do you think Big Phil is actually big, or do you think it’s one of those things like how big guys are referred to as ‘Tiny’? Do you think it goes both ways?” Even though these are not necessarily poignant topics of conversation, at least it’s not observationally spewing out words. I’ve even gone as far as kept a book of questions next to the front passenger seat of my car to avoid this exact situation. Anything to avoid the awkward non-silence brought about by an observational talker.

Dangerously in Fug

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for dangerous, daring fashion. I’ve rocked fringe booties with gold studs, latex leggings, ripped tights, those Abercrombie graphic tees from middle school with seemingly coy yet promiscuous innuendos on them, etc. There's something to be said for those who are courageous enough to blaze their own style trail.  Yet after last nights Grammy’s, I have to ask: doesn’t anyone just want to look pretty anymore? Lady Gaga has an excuse; she’s trying to detract attention from her giant nose so the general public won’t notice when she chops it in half next week. But Beyonce, Rhianna, Pink, Jennifer Hudson, Ciara, WTF? You’re all drop dead gorgeous when you want to be. Do you just get sick of swimming around in your gorgeousness all day and feel like you need a break from pruniness? I do feel like Taylor Swift was trying to be ‘pretty’ last night, however, nothing’s pretty about an awkward hunchback who sings karaoke (sorry Taylor).